Northwest cities have an identity crisis, because metaphors are the new similes
If Burien is the new Brooklyn, then what is Seattle? Or Portland? Or Brooklyn, for that matter? Follow the logic to some surprising answers.
Read the papers and blogs and you will soon realize that we're in the midst of a huge identity crisis. Mobile America, land of chains and franchises, loves to see itself as having interchangeable parts – and it's always been that way. When Seattle's pioneers landed at Alki Point, they called the city-to-be New York Alki. So first there was York, then New York, and then new New York.
Geographic short-handing is a way of piggybacking on a brand identity. In the 19th century, real estate boosters called Kirkland the new Pittsburgh, which was a way of saying: "Build you factories here." It didn't work out that way. Instead, Kirkland become the new Sausalito.
With real-estate prices driving the creative class into the old blue-collar 'burbs, you find that the notion of being the new Brooklyn is a hot local trend. A little while ago, a Seattle Times story floated the idea that Burien was the new Brooklyn because of its affordability and budding arts scene. The Stranger was on to the idea years ago, but instead of comparing it to Brooklyn simply observed that Burien was the new Burien. But Burien isn't the only new Brooklyn on the block. Some call Tacoma the new Brooklyn or even Bellevue, but there's debate about that.
But the new Brooklyn isn't only to be found on Puget Sound. Some say Nashville is the new Brooklyn. Others say Portland is (and they have T-shirts to prove it).
But wait a minute. It starts to get complicated. Some also say that Portland is the new Seattle. Others say Detroit is really the new Seattle. Googling more, you find that others say Montreal is the new Seattle and that Seattle is the new Pittsburgh (or would that be Kirkland?). And because so much time is being spent online, others argue that MySpace is the new Seattle.
And then there's the guy from Brooklyn who says that Dublin is the new Seattle.
To complicate things further, when it comes to music, one critic argues that Portland is the new Seattle, Austin is the new Portland, and Minneapolis is the new Austin. Another argues that if Omaha is the new Seattle – news to me – then Minneapolis was the old Seattle.
The way I read this, a resident of the present Seattle is also simultaneously living in Portland, Detroit, Montreal, Dublin, Omaha, Minneapolis, and Pittsburgh.
No wonder density is a problem.
And Seattle is not the only local city with civic whiplash. Redmond is also called the new Detroit (which is also Seattle – see above). Luxumbourg is the new Redmond, and to Democrats, Yakima is the new Bellevue (which also, remember, is a candidate for the new Brooklyn). This, folks, is what globalization looks like. To a schizo.
Which brings us back to Brooklyn. If Burien is the new Brooklyn, then what is the old Brooklyn? New York magazine says Brooklyn is the new Manhattan. Which either means that Seattle (New York Alki, remember) is really the new Brooklyn, or that Burien is – drumroll – the new Manhattan.
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Comments:
Posted Fri, Jun 29, 5:08 p.m. inappropriate
City Metaphor Categorization: First off there are the local-to-local metaphors:
Humptulips is the new Eatonville.
George is the new Washington.
Then the local-to-Middle East metaphors:
Seattle is the new Baghdad.
King County is the new Iraq
North Bend is the new Fallujah
Alki is the new Gaza
Mercer Island is the new Tel Aviv.
Cougar Mountain is the new Jerusalem.
The local-to-anywhere metaphors:
Tacoma is the new Paris.
Burien is the new Laos.
The Viaduct is the new Great Wall of China.
The Space Needle is the New Tower of Babel.
Sequim is the new Mazatland.
Georgetown is the new Mexico City.
West Seattle is the new Lagos.
Mercer Island is the new Madagascar.
Portland is the new Tuscaloosa
Then the anywhere-to-anywhere metaphors:
New York City is the new Dar es Salaam.
Beverly Hills is the new Siam.
Vancouver is the new Hong Kong.
Wyoming is the new Shanghai.
Salt Lake is the new Dead Sea.
North Dakota is the new South Dakota.
North Dakota is the new North Carolina.
The North Pole is the new South Pole.
There is the new here (granting that in Oakland there is no there there).
And don't forget the out-of-this world metaphors:
Seattle is the new Venus.
Philadelphia is the new Saturn.
And Cranston is the new Pluto.
For completeness, there are the reversals:
Baghdad is the new Seattle.
Iraq is the new King County.
Tuscaloosa is the new Portland.
Lagos is the new West Seattle.
What's interesting is that the general form "X is the new Y" is future oriented.
We can just as easily have "X is the old Y":
Burien is the old South Bronx
Medina is the old Xanadau
Bellevue is the old Sodom
Tacoma is the old Seattle
Portland is the old Tacoma
Seattle is the old Detroit
Or we can have simple noun identity:
String theory is Manhattan.
Socialism is Seattle.
Flat is Kansas.
I'm kind of partial to redundancy as in "it is what it is":
Oz is Oz.
Seattle is Seattle.
Redmond is Redmond.
Manhattan is Manhattan.
Moscow is Moscow.
Sammamish is Sammamish.
Humptulips are humptulips...
Posted Sun, Jul 1, 8:48 a.m. inappropriate
Mossback is the new Napoleon: Stuka-
I liked your Napoleon story better than this, one thing you've got to learn is to be your own critic, no matter how 'creative' you might be.
Continuing as critic, one glaring omission of both of yours lists is Ballard, and of Course, Lake Washington.
As such a few observations of my own.
West Seattle has been the new Brooklyn for a long time, Burien can join that club if it wants.
Tacoma is the new Brooklyn.
S. King County is the new Jersey.
Sodo is still Georgetown.
Lake Washington is the new Central Park, and Bellevue is the new upper West Side.
Arlington is the new Westchester.
Maple Valley is the new Long Island.
Ooops, I'm going on too long myself!
-Douglas Tooley
Tacoma, WA
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 8:21 a.m. inappropriate
"metaphors are the new similes" ?? In god's name what is a metaphor but a simile?? oxies and morons: and kirkland has houseboats??
well, seattle since its beginnings has sought to adorn itself ... the territorial governor stevens who welched on the treaty with the duwamish desperately sought to bring the state into the union and have the protection of the murderous u.s. army and so got the territory to be called "washington", not that this ever was a gleam in George's eye. the only state not to be named with a connection to its real heritage, indian or spanish, west of the misssissippi. then the local yokels adorn themselves with the art of the people whom they dispossessed. roethke. august wilson. the lack of identity goes very deep. and goes on and on. the only symbiosis if one is to believe jonathan raban's voyage to juneau occurred when the puget sound tribes learned to amplify their totem poles with some features of the galleon figures of the visiting Spanish and British ships. lots more to be said on this subject.
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 9:44 a.m. inappropriate
If Christine Gregoire is the New Lt. Ellen Ripley...: Which sequel of 'Alien' are we now experiencing?
-Douglas Tooley
Tacoma, WA
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 11:06 a.m. inappropriate
You forgot New Orleans and Kansas City: New Orleans is the new Atlantis and Kansas City still has the best steaks, BBQ, and sports complex.
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 11:14 a.m. inappropriate
the old spanaway: When I had a brain tumor removed recently, one of my doctors looked at a post-op MRI and said wow, that was a "generous" chunk of brain missing. Another doc disagreed, saying that the resected part of my brain was "incosequential."
"If your brain were local geography," he said, "the part we took out would be Spanaway."
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 12:27 p.m. inappropriate
Shell game?: Reparte aside all I can envision as I'm reading this article and its comments is a huge shell game of names. I hope some city steps up at "just itself" - kind of like the new Jigsaw phone I heard about today on public radio. It's just a phone, folks....
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 12:35 p.m. inappropriate
Brooklyn _was_ the new Breukelen: this is a pretty old game... even for Brooklyn.
http://brooklyn.about.com/cs/historyfacts/f/name.htm
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 11:04 p.m. inappropriate
RE: Mossback is the new Napoleon: Yeah, funny name couplets should be easy.
But too many and they're cloying.
Mossback as the new Napoleon is a good notion.
Have him run for a city Council seat or for mayor.
I think your "Lake Washington is the new Central Park" is quite insightful
both in terms of real estate in terms of people adopting
it as their own back yard.
Also Stuka intends to be more self critical.
I will "kill my babies" as comedy writers
say of writing that is ho-ho-ho but not apropos.
Posted Mon, Jul 2, 11:12 p.m. inappropriate
RE: the old spanaway: I don't know much about Spanaway, but I've gotta agree that that's a city I wouldn't mind having removed. It's sort of like a spleen or an appendix.
I have a friend who's been waiting for years to have surgery on his brain cancer, but because his tumor is the equivalent of a very slow growing road system (remind you of any local road systems you know?), it's been nearly impossible to operate. So I'm glad to hear that your operation was successful and that your neural Spanaway is inconsequential!