September was National Cholesterol Education Month. To celebrate, the National Cholesterol Education Program (NCEP) suggested that you "coordinate with your local grocery store and a local dietitian to give a grocery store tour demonstrating how to read food labels and choose heart healthy foods."
These wild and crazy guys know how to party! Check out their other cool ideas.
I celebrated National Cholesterol Education Month by publicizing studies that correlate low cholesterol and suicide.
Googling "suicide, low cholesterol," I found 1,180,000 citations. Scores of peer-reviewed scientific studies confirm what great philosophers always understood – life without steak, crab, butter, eggs, cheese, and heavy cream is not worth living. The first 10 of Google's references are displayed at the end of this rant.
My observation of National Cholesterol Education Month then continued with a dinner of foie gras, asparagus with hollandaise, homard thermidor, cervelles au beurre noir, and crème bavarois.
In puritanical belief that denial of pleasure brings salvation, the NCEP once again lowered recommended cholesterol levels. Existing solely to lower cholesterol, it's no surprise when the NCEP demands drastic cholesterol reductions, despite the proven link between low cholesterol and suicide.
It is surprising when people fall for it, and are driven to suicide after renouncing charlotte chantilly au chocolat, tournedos rossini, and ris de veau financiere.
The NCEP is using tax dollars to abet suicide, and how does the typical Seattleite react?
He brags that his diet of soy chaff, rolled lentil husks, and marsh algae has reduced his cholesterol to 113. Later, in a fit of depression, he will poke an ice pick through his occipital lobe after refusing petits choux au roquefort.
The cholesterol mafia has terrified the nation by using a great marketing gimmick – "good" and "bad" cholesterol. This sounds like something made up by Catholic nuns. Presumably, good cholesterol flosses while bad cholesterol smokes dope and listens to acid rock.
The NCEP bases their new guidelines on a longitudinal study conducted in Framingham, Mass., the largest city in the U.S. with a town meeting form of government.
In short, based on the behavior of people driven loony by town meetings, the NCEP want us to abandon zabaglione and crème au beurre a l'Anglaise, and neglects studies proving that eating ground tofu leaves and unpasturized flax paste leads to jumping off tall buildings.
It is helpful to remember that "good" and "bad" cholesterol come from the same crowd that used to bleed people, thus ridding them of excess yellow bile to keep the humors in balance.
When Bayer withdrew Baycol, after this cholesterol-lowering drug was linked to 31 deaths, the NCEP was unconcerned. The patients all died with low cholesterol levels.
Given the proven connection between low cholesterol and depression, makers of organic bran vines and chickpea sprouts will soon be subject to lawsuits from relatives of the suicides. In next week's blog, I will highlight the companies who will be ruined by this torrent of litigation. You should short these stocks.
"So have a meal of quenelles de crustaces nantua and soufflé au Grand Marnier," is my advice for National Cholesterol Education Month. "Then retain my brother's firm, ClipLaw, to sue manufacturers, wholesalers, and retailers when your spouse commits suicide after eating a meal of fermented soy pits, dried ginkgo blossoms, and congealed whey." "Then find a sexy dietitian and have a ball demonstrating how to read food labels."
The first ten of 1,180,000 references by Google to suicide and low cholesterol:
|People with low cholesterol levels are more prone to suicide and depression, according to a large-scale study.|
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/435305.stm - 21k -
|A new study reveals that people with low serum cholesterol concentration may have a high chance of committing suicide as a result.|
www.mercola.com/2001/aug/8/suicide.htm - 45k -
|How cholesterol levels can affect brain chemistry that can cause violent behavior. ... a low average cholesterol was linked to subsequent death by suicide. ...|
|Reviews the health risks associated with very low cholesterol levels, including links to anxiety, depression, suicide and stroke.|
www.ctds.info/low_cholesterol.html - 23k -
|The authors sought to determine whether a low cholesterol and triglyceride level is related to a higher rate of suicide attempts, alcohol or drug ...|
|Low cholesterol levels have commonly been associated with various suicide measures. We sought to examine suicide attempts in a prospective sample of ...|
[ More results from www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ]
|In a recent article, Golier et al. reported a relationship between low cholesterol levels and history of medically serious suicide attempt in male ...|
|Objective: We sought to establish whether low cholesterol concentration may be associated with a personal history of attempted suicide or a family history ...|
[ More results from www.ingentaconnect.com ]
|Low cholesterol level may in fact indicate an at-risk population for parasuicide or completed suicide,2 and follow-up studies have found that individuals ...|
|OBJECTIVE: Several studies suggest that a low cholesterol concentration is associated with a greater than normal risk of mortality from suicide. ...|
|suicide. attempt. than. men. who. do not have. low. cholesterol ... association. between. low cholesterol. level. and completed. suicide ...|
[ More results from ajp.psychiatryonline.org ]
|File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat - View as HTML|
Low cholesterol linked to suicide tries. Men, but not women, suffering from severe psychiatric disorders stand a much greater ...
|Association of personal and familial suicide risk with low serum cholesterol concentration in male lithium patients. Acta Psychiatr Scand 2001 Jul 104 37-41 ...|
|Another observational study on low serum cholesterol concentration and suicide appears in this week's BMJ,1 complementing other BMJ publications in the past ...|
|Depression is the main psychiatric illness that predisposes to suicide and could itself cause low cholesterol concentrations through poor diet and weight ...|
[ More results from bmj.bmjjournals.com ]
|Low serum cholesterol in violent but not in non-violent suicide attempters .... (1997) demonstrated that the low total cholesterol observed in suicide ...|
|Since the late 1970s, studies have been reporting evidence of an association between low serum cholesterol and violence, including suicide (Virkkunen, ...|
[ More results from linkinghub.elsevier.com ]
|It's not a frivolous question: new reports add to earlier evidence tentatively linking low cholesterol levels to depression, suicide, and an increased risk ...|
www.crimetimes.org/96d/w96dp1.htm - 15k -
|Several studies suggest a link between low cholesterol and depression, suicide, or violent death (see related article, Crime Times, 1996, Vol. 2, No. ...|
www.crimetimes.org/98a/w98ap8.htm - 11k -
|Low serum cholesterol and violence or suicide - Tips from Other Journals from American Family Physician in Array provided free by LookSmart Find Articles.|
|Low cholesterol linked to suicide tries from Science News in Array provided free by LookSmart Find Articles.|
[ More results from findarticles.com ]
|Assessing the observed relationship between low cholesterol and violence-related mortality. Implications for suicide risk. J. R. Kaplan, M. F. Muldoon, ...|
|psychobiological. disorder.5. It may. therefore. be rea-. sonable. to expect. that. low-cholesterol. is related. to violence. as well. as. suicide. ...|
|Is having very low cholesterol levels hazardous to health? .... Keys A, Bloemberg B. Serum cholesterol and long-term death rates from suicide, accidents, ...|
|Is having very low cholesterol levels hazardous to health? .... including suicide.15 It is important to recognize that individuals with serum cholesterol ...|
[ More results from circ.ahajournals.org ]
|Cholesterol and suicidal behaviour - The hypothesis that a low ... cholesterol among patients who had attempted suicide in comparison with other patients. ...|
www.biopsychiatry.com/lipidsmood.htm - 10k -
|For several years, numerous studies have identified a link between low cholesterol and risk of suicide. However, it's far from clear if there's a cause and ...|
www.biospace.com/news_story.aspx?NewsEntityId=17093620 - 50k -
|Low Serum Cholesterol Concentration and Risk of Suicide Larry F. Ellison and Howard 1. Morrison Recent reports have suggested a link between low serum total ...|
|At least a dozen reports show the risk of suicide may be substantially higher in people with low cholesterol. For instance, in a French study that tracked ...|
|Two recent reports have suggested that the association between low cholesterol and suicide is evident only among patients with selected disorders, ...|
|In one study male psychiatric patients with cholesterol below 160 mg/dL had twice the normal rate of suicide and elderly men with low cholesterol levels had ...|
adam.about.com/reports/000023_2.htm - 29k -
|The present study is an attempt to investigate the relation between mood disorders, aggression, and suicide and low serum cholesterol levels in adolescent ...|
priory.com/psych/cholesterol.htm - 27k -
|Low serum cholesterol and suicide. Lancet 1992; 339: 727-9 Modai I, Valevski A, Dror S, Weizman A. Serum cholesterol levels and suicidal tendencies in ...|
www.second-opinions.co.uk/cholesterol_myth_4.html - 30k -
|They conclude 'These data indicate that low serum total cholesterol level is associated with an increased risk of suicide.' ...|
www.second-opinions.co.uk/depression.html - 41k -
|Hypothesis: Low Serum Cholesterol, Suicide, and lnterleukin-2. Jyrki Penttinen. FromThe Kuopio Regional Institute of Occupational Health P.O. Box 93, ...|
|observed relationship between low cholesterol and violence-. related mortality. Implications for suicide risk. Ann N Y Acad. Sci 1997,836:57-80. ...|
[ More results from aje.oxfordjournals.org ]
|Low cholesterol levels have been associated with depression, anxiety, violent behavior, suicide and hemorrhagic stroke. Treatment & Prevention ...|
www.diagnose-me.com/cond/C272812.html - 28k -
|New Study Links Low Cholesterol to Suicide in Depressed Patients. This health news article is brought to you by healthyonline, your online pharmacy in New ...|
|Two more recent studies from the Max-Planck-Institute of Psychiatry in Germany linked low cholesterol with an increased risk of suicide, depression, ...|
www.drweil.com/u/QA/QA43423/ - 17k -
|by Julio Licinio, Ma-Li Wong - 2005 - Science - 1095 pages|
The association between low cholesterol and high relative risk of suicide has not been replicated in every cohort study , thereby adding to the ...
|Depression, which is the main psychiatric disorder that predisposes to suicide, could cause low cholesterol concentrations through poor diet and weight loss ...|
|terol concentration and death from suicide in men:. Paris prospective study I. BMJ 1996; 313: 649-651. 16. Kunugi H, Takei N, Nanko S. Low serum cholesterol ...|
[ More results from www.blackwell-synergy.com ]
|high quality, excellent value scientific and educational publications for mental health professionals and the Public.|
|suicide in the subsequent 6 years (10). There are. reports that those with a history of violence (11–13). have low cholesterol levels and that feeding of ...|
|Relationships between a low cholesterol and suicide were also explored. Several large prospective cohort studies conducted in general populations reported ...|
[ More results from www.psychosomaticmedicine.org ]
|by Dan J. Stein, David J. Kupfer, Alan F. Schatzberg - 2005 - Psychology - 278 pages|
Evidence has linked very low cholesterol levels and suicide risk (Muldoon et al. 1990, 1993). Very small increases in the rate of suicidal behavior have ...
|Women with low cholesterol levels were nearly 30 percent more prone to violent ... ``We know that low-serotonin people are more likely to commit suicide, ...|
www.healthy.net/scr/Column.asp?Id=91 - 73k -
|Y: A number of researchers have discovered links between extremely low cholesterol levels and violent behavior, depression, and suicide. ...|
amos.indiana.edu/library/scripts/cholesterol.html - 6k -
|Very low cholesterol levels were linked especially to deaths from suicide and violent causes like accidents and homicide. But in the Hawaii study, ...|
|MORE ON LOW CHOLESTEROL AND VIOLENT DEATH. ... Serum cholesterol concentration and mortality from accidents, suicide, and other violent causes. ...|
Like what you just read? Support high quality local journalism. Become a member of Crosscut today!