Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'?
People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.
By Steve Clifford
March 21, 2010.
Retail clerks, recovering accountants, and others who hold me in low esteem have begun to wish me "a good one." They say, “Have a good one” instead of “Have a good day.”
Perhaps they ceased wishing me a “good day” to avoid my devastating rejoinders:
- Great idea. Why didn’t I think of it first?
- I’ve already had mine this month.
- Not today, but Friday might work.
- Thanks, but I’m married.
- I have other plans.
- The probing: “One What?”
- The confrontational: “And then what?”
- The non-committal: “I will consider it.”
- The avaricious: “What not a good two, or even a good eight?”
- The retributive: “The same to you if you’re a Yankee fan.”
I am befuddled by “have a good one.” Exactly what are they suggesting: A good day? A good quadruple bypass? A good soup and salad lunch? A good religious epiphany? A good tea party? A good bowel movement? A good Zen koan? The possibilities are endless.
I could reply politely with, “Have a good one yourself.” But what if the recovering accountant meant, “Have a good attack of shingles?” I would not wish shingles on anyone other than a Yankee fan.
I am currently testing five responses to “have a good one”:
Thus far, the above rejoinders have elicited remarkably similar responses — “asshole,” “jerk,” and “I discern that you are not a native Seattleite.”
Results of my research will be published in Tenure: The Journal of Academic Academics.
Comments:
Posted Sun, Mar 21, 6:44 a.m. Inappropriate
You were correct when you speculated "have a good bowel movement." It must be apparent to most that meet you, that you are "full of it" and in depserate need of a purge.
Posted Sun, Mar 21, 6:45 a.m. Inappropriate
Desperate, sorry.
Posted Sun, Mar 21, 11:24 a.m. Inappropriate
You just had a good one. Thank you, very funny and I will try
to remember at least one of those.
Posted Mon, Mar 22, 7:43 a.m. Inappropriate
As one who's frequently found Mr. Clifford's writing singularly devoid of wit, I have to congratulate him on writing a good one. That saying bugs the hell out of me, too.
Posted Mon, Mar 22, 10:29 a.m. Inappropriate
Several years ago I sent my two kids to a well-known summer camp in the San Juans. One of the questions on the background information form was "Does your child have issues?" Post your pithy rejoinder below:
Posted Wed, Mar 24, 7:35 a.m. Inappropriate
Suggested response--Nothing issued. All camping equipment purchased at REI.