Flip Side: Obama takes the gloves off regarding Bain Capital
Satire: The president zeroes in on the dark heart of Mitt Romney's business experience: Bain consciously sought to make money.
Escalating his attack on Mitt Romney and Bain Capital, President Barack Obama charged yesterday that "Romney and Bain put profits ahead of losses."
Obama released two Bain Private Placement Memoranda (PPMs) prepared for investors during Romney's tenure. Obama found the documents "disturbing" and "mean-spirited."
"They reveal that Romney and Bain employed the lure of profits to entice investors," Obama claimed. "Their sole promise to investors was a good return on investment. In their pitch to investors, Bain completely ignored combating global warming, fighting childhood obesity, and helping homeowners with underwater mortgages.
"Even worse, Bain and Romney accepted only those investors willing to pay Bain's asking price. Ability to pay was Bain's sole criterion for accepting investors. Bain made no attempt to achieve ethnic, racial, gender, or sexual preference balance among their investors," Obama continued.
"Bain was in business to make money," Obama declared. "Their PPMs prove it. Bain and Romney were blinded by greed. Had they been willing to incur large losses, they could addressed issues that most concern hard-working middle class Americans, such as helping hard-working middle class Americans struggling to pay texting overcharges for their hard-working middle class children.
Obama contrasted his experience as a community organizer with Romney's concern about profits. "I was trying to improve the lives of everyone in the community. The only time I focused on money was when our grants needed renewal."
Obama said working for a profit-making organization is poor training for a president. "The president's job is to finance deficits, not to maximize profits. Moreover, it's the president's job to assure that everybody in the country has a fair shot by providing government programs that don't work.
"Applying the private sector's heartless logic of cost/benefit would decimate government programs," Obama stated. "For example, federal job training programs would appear absurdly inefficient until you consider how virtuous these programs make us feel about our good intentions."
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Comments:
Posted Wed, May 30, 9:20 a.m. Inappropriate
I almost made it to the fourth paragraph before I realized this was a parody. Good job.
Posted Wed, May 30, 9:40 a.m. Inappropriate
This is rather pathetic showing up on Crosscut after all we know about
how PAIN made its money. Creative destruction it was not + the workers who lost not only their jobs but their pensions and the US Government/ and the people who pay to keep it going were not amused by the amount it cost in unemployment benefit. No job at this club, Steve! x m.r
Posted Wed, May 30, 2:55 p.m. Inappropriate
Actually, Clifford makes a rather telling point that expecting 1% hyper-capitalist types like Romney to behave with social responsibility (as liberal Obama does in this satire) is like expecting my Husky to forgo her favorite squirming munchy of meadow vole when presented the opportunity at the prairie fast food joint. That's why the idea of a vulture capitalist like Romney forgoing profit for any purpose whatsoever is laughingly absurd, as is anyone (especially Obama) expecting them to. The only ethical or moral authority that will restrain the behavior of someone like Romney is the body politic firmly and decisively saying no, even if that requires the occasional use of a guillotine.
Posted Wed, May 30, 4:21 p.m. Inappropriate
Very funny. Very true. Crosscut tolerates dissent! thank you Mr. Clifford.
Posted Thu, May 31, 7:48 a.m. Inappropriate
It appears that no one but no one realizes that the way Bain/Pain
operates is through a criminal mis-use of the bankruptcy laws.
You buy a company that is in good standing, load 100 million dollars
worth of debt on it, take those loans for yourself, bankrupt the company, let the workers get unemployment compensation from Uncle Sam, their retirement accounts may or may not be saved by Uncle Sam as well, but most importantly, the LENDERS take the hindmost and Mitt Romeny is worth 250 million dollars. And the lenders can't complain and sue, can they, because of the bankruptcy laws. So the entire discussion, and a national discussion it has been ever since that low life of low lives,
the one and only Newt, managed to win the South Carolina primary with that line of attack = especially successful in S.C. where our Marmot Carpet Bagger from Michachusetts had left a lot of living wounds.
Posted Thu, May 31, 9:18 a.m. Inappropriate
Can you cite an example of a company "in good standing" that Romney "loaded with 100 million dollars of debt", took the loan money "for himself", and then pushed into bankruptcy?
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