Usually brilliant at framing political issues, Republicans blundered last week by positing broccoli as the symbolic test of Obamacare. (Broccoli was mentioned 12 times in the Supreme Court’s rulings on Obamacare.)
Republicans should have chosen zucchini. One of my educated readers (I have three) noted that I erroneously labeled zucchini as a vegetable in my trenchant commentary on Monday. It is not.
Zucchini is in fact an immature fruit and the ovary of the zucchini flower. How did Republicans overlook “immature ovaries?”
Eating broccoli is merely unpalatable. Consumption of immature ovaries, a.k.a. zucchini, evokes the specter of totalitarianism, Satanic rituals, cannibalism, and infanticide. The simple substitution of “immature ovaries” for ‘broccoli” would have made the case against Obamacare irrefutable.
Rush Limbaugh: "You're telling me that you want the Supreme Court to decide that the government can tell you that you have to buy health insurance and immature ovaries?
If the Congress makes you eat immature ovaries, then you'll take care of that at the ballot box…Throw 'em out, you still have to buy immature ovaries. ... Stop and think about this. You have to buy immature ovaries. You go to the grocery store, you have to buy it…. You want that world?"
Fox News legal analyst Andrew Napolitano: "If Congress can compel you to buy health insurance because that's good for you and for the country's economic health, can it force you to eat immature ovaries?"
Judge Roger Vinson, Federal District Court: "If they (Congress) decided that everybody needs to eat immature ovaries because immature ovaries are healthy, they can mandate that everybody has to buy a certain quantity of immature ovaries each week?"
Antonin Scalia: "Everybody is in the market; therefore, you can make people buy immature ovaries?"
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