I bain, you bain, we all bain

We may have a new, useful verb, but it all depends on whether Obama succeeds in a successful "baining."

Mitt Romney was joined by former VP Dan Quayle at a rally in Arizona last year.

Gage Skidmore/Flickr (CC)

Mitt Romney was joined by former VP Dan Quayle at a rally in Arizona last year.

The presidential election hinges on whether "bain" become a verb.  "To bain" or not "to bain" seems to be the question

Dictionary.com already recognizes "bork" " and "swiftboating." Bork: to attack (a candidate or public figure) systematically, especially in the media. Swiftboating:  American political jargon that is used as a strong pejorative description of some kind of attack that the speaker considers unfair or untrue — for example, an ad hominem attack or a smear campaign.

These became words through triumph.  Bork was successfully borked and Kerry was successfully Swiftboated.  Thankfully, the Birthers failed and we will not read about candidates being "birthed."

If  the Democrats succeed in using Bain Capital to paint Romney as an out-of-touch greedster who made megabucks while shipping jobs to Asia and bankrupting companies, they will have "bained" him, and we will have a gained a new word.

The creation of new words is what keeps the English language vital, relevant, and robust.  In the future orators may proclaim:

•I came.  I saw. I bained.

•We have met the enemy and they are bained.

•That which doesn't bain us makes us stronger.

•I have not yet begun to bain.

•We shall bain them on the beaches, we shall bain them on the landing grounds, we shall bain them in the fields and in the streets, we shall bain them in the hills.

•In war there is no substitute for baining.

•You can bain some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not bain all of the people all of the time.
 


Topics: Elections

About the Author

Steve Clifford writes humor for Crosscut. He is the author of the recently published political satire, Fools and Knaves. In his unhumorous life, he was CEO of King Broadcasting and once played a role in saving New York City from bankruptcy.

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Comments:

Posted Fri, Jul 20, 6 a.m. Inappropriate

We all bain suffrin' too long from this Bain business.

Posted Fri, Jul 20, 6:50 a.m. Inappropriate

There once was a guy named Steve, from who's Baining we sought a reprieve. But to no avail, Crosscut pages he assails, with no humor just partisan pleas.

Cameron

Posted Fri, Jul 20, 12:51 p.m. Inappropriate

Which party?

afreeman

Posted Fri, Jul 20, 1:30 p.m. Inappropriate

The one whose minions are swayed by juvenile humor.

BlueLight

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