Seattle dog days: loving our pets to death
With dog friendly cafés and designer dog treats, Seattleites are too attached to their pets.
Forget images of Lassie devotedly tugging Timmy out of an abandoned well. The iconic Seattle dog lover is a single lass who loves her pooches so much they share lattes at Starbucks.
I stumbled upon this ritual a few years ago at Alki Beach, where I first watched a dog owner share her warm coffee drink with two fawning canines. She sipped from the cup, then let her dogs lap sloppily from it, then she sipped from it again. Sip, slurp, repeat. It was more than enough to alarm Rick Santorum about the slippery slope of French kissing other species.
Now, without going too far down that path — one that could lead to a barn in Enumclaw or a stage in Tijuana — let’s simply say that Seattle is a town with lots of adults who are very close to their pets. Pet closeness of all kinds is highly exaggerated here. Some years ago, I took a sick and dying lab rat to the vet, at the tearful behest of my children, and was asked by the doctor to fill out a medical history that asked me if the rat was a “beloved pet” or a “member of the family.” There was no box to check for “grotty little rodent.” Of course, I did the humane thing and spent a month’s pay buying “Ratty” another week or two of wretched existence. To do otherwise would have pegged me as a monster.
In PC Seattle, it is expected that we treat animals “ethically,” and fetishize them, which seems like a contradiction to me. Many people who are aggressively protective of their pets act like dominatrices (“Sit!” “Stay!” “Heel!”), at once bossy and adoring. I once walked into a bakery in Pioneer Square and noticed a young woman looking at me with what I took to be great interest. I was single at the time, and flattered, then suspicious. I looked behind me and realized her smoky gaze was fixed on her beloved Fido tied up at the door. It gave me the impression that true love comes on the end of a leash.
Seattle, naturally, allows animals a wide range of rights: Dogs are in bars, they ride the bus, and the city is dotted with “dog spas” and dog yoga classes. Shops sell baked doggie treats worthy of Martha Stewart’s table. Outside some cafés, mutts are provided their own bowls for socializing and refreshment, and in cooler weather, you frequently see exotic breeds in designer sweaters milling around the door like groupies outside the Westminster Kennel Club. Walking in and out of these cafés can be like running a gauntlet of probing noses. If dogs are people, too, how come they can goose strangers without penalty?
You’re lucky if that’s all they do. If dogs are family members, they are often indulged like spoiled children. I remember visiting a friend’s house and being set upon by a yapping ball of fur named Cappuccino. When the dog’s mistress picked him up, the overly excited Cappy proceeded to urinate on me like a fountain cherub. No apology from the owner was forthcoming, no offer to wipe my shirt. Just a shrug: Dogs will be dogs. Our tolerance rules seem to judge it your fault if you step in a pile of shih tzu.
Seattle has long been concerned about extreme abuse of dogs. During the Alaska-Yukon-Pacific Exposition in 1909, locals were appalled that a “primitive” tribe from the Philippines on display at the fair was reportedly going to cook and eat dogs. “Igorrotes to Have Dog Feast” hollered a headline in The Seattle Times. A professor from Cambridge came to the tribe’s defense. “[I]s a dog’s life any more sacred than a cow’s or a pig’s or a chicken’s, all of which most of us eat with great relish?” he asked. The feast apparently turned out to be hype, but it did increase the exhibit’s box office. I was sad that the recipe for dog relish was not forthcoming.
Still, as Seattle turns toward urban farming with legalized chickens and mini-goats, perhaps our pet-o-philia will moderate with attitudes that treat dogs neither as food nor as spoiled lapdogs for the lonely. We’re literally loving these creatures to death as rates of dog obesity and diabetes are soaring along with our own. It’s time to stop treating city pooches as overly pampered coffee- and cupcake-consuming mini-mes.
This column originally appeared in the July edition of Seattle Magazine, where the author is a regular columnist.
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Comments:
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 5:59 a.m. Inappropriate
I suppose that if a woman found me less appealing than a dog, I would feel the same way. It seems that with more people choosing to be single, furry friends fill the role that was previously occupied by humans.
Isn't caffeine very harmful to dogs?
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 9:34 a.m. Inappropriate
"It’s time to stop treating city pooches as overly pampered coffee- and cupcake-consuming mini-mes."
Hear, hear. If we regulated dogs the way we regulate other things, they would, likely, be outlawed. King County reports that 200 TONS of pet waste are deposited on the ground around Puget Sound EVERY DAY. And, as the County says, this is flushed into "streams, lakes and Puget Sound".
http://www.kingcounty.gov/environment/waterandland/stormwater/videos/pet-waste-stormwater.aspx
I wonder how many dog owners consider themselves environmentalists"? I wonder how many would support a $100 annual fee/dog for Puget Sound cleanup?
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 9:46 a.m. Inappropriate
Some people want to share their lives with kids (who contribute their fair share of waste to Puget Sound); some don't. Some would rather come home to creatures that love them unconditionally (except for the food) and make them laugh. The columnist's evidence that Seattleites "fetishize" their dogs is scant. Frankly, the people I see with their dogs seem happier than the people I see with their kids. To each his or her own.
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 10:50 a.m. Inappropriate
A stage in Tijuana? Now you're going too far, Knute. Let's be merciful and settle for a Julia's for dogs, with a Saturday lineup in Northface fido-gear.
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 1:34 p.m. Inappropriate
...The columnist's evidence that Seattleites "fetishize" their dogs is scant...
Okay then, just walk around any upscale business district with your eyes open. Councilmember Tim Burgess recently posted three pictures on his Facebook page of fetishized dogs being wheeled around in strollers. Look at all the "service" dogs in grocery stores and other places dogs are supposedly prohibited for health reasons. Your name, "terrierist" is a pretty likely indicator that YOU fetishize your dog(s)...
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 2:01 p.m. Inappropriate
200 tons per day of 'pet waste' in King County? Yikes; we've all collectively 'stepped in it'.
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 9:25 p.m. Inappropriate
200 tons per day in the Puget Sound region. As reported by King County.
Posted Fri, Aug 31, 11:23 p.m. Inappropriate
How do they count the poops?
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 5:41 p.m. Inappropriate
“[I]s a dog’s life any more sacred than a cow’s or a pig’s or a chicken’s, all of which most of us eat with great relish?” he asked." A Modest Proposal suggests itself.
Good piece, Knute
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 5:45 p.m. Inappropriate
"King County reports that 200 TONS of pet waste are deposited on the ground around Puget Sound EVERY DAY"
and how much of that is picked up by responsible pet owners? I would bet more than half--let's say 70%
"I wonder how many would support a $100 annual fee/dog for Puget Sound cleanup?"
why would I pay anything if I am in that 70% who regularly cleans up after my pet?
Very entertaining essay. As others have suggested, this is likely a product of the dearth of children in Seattle. It may have been helpful to draw some more comparisons (kids per capita, dogs per capita, etc.). I don't know anyone with children that spoils their pet in this manner.
Posted Wed, Sep 5, 12:37 p.m. Inappropriate
If it's picked up by owners, it wouldn't be counted. Thus, 200 tons means 200 tons.
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 6:05 p.m. Inappropriate
Caffeine is indeed dangerous for dogs. So is sugar. So is not walking on their own four feet (strollers?). When people start treating their pets like fashion accessories or human children they are endangering them too by putting them in inappropriate situations or trusting them too far (dogs will be dogs and with big teeth that can be a problem if owners believe their little darling won't ever do anything dog-like with them). We are supposed to be the responsible caregiver who acknowledges that animals have special needs and limitations. We can love them and give them excellent lives without smothering them or making them into little toys.
Posted Wed, Aug 29, 8:36 p.m. Inappropriate
Nice piece indeed. I would say that Madison Park, here, has the most pedigreed dogs, the closest Seattle comes to Carmel-on-the Sea; spend an early morning there and see what and who walks what expensive canine about.
As an early bird, now again the earliest, I too am of an age that I envy the Golden Retrievers with the Golden Haired mistresses on their early morning athletic jaunts. Or being able to retrieve a tennis ball with such alacrity, or catch a Frisbee in that fashion.
Posted Fri, Aug 31, 11:25 p.m. Inappropriate
O to jump like a young dog ...
Posted Thu, Aug 30, 8:25 a.m. Inappropriate
Yesterday's NY Times had a puff piece on the firing of Smirnoff the editor of the Oxford Journal, for sexually inappropriate behavior. The 19 year old intern whom he asked to hold hands with him
replied - and this is what brought Seattle and Mossback's story to mind - "I wouldnt hold hands with a dead dog." Why is that such a weird thing to say, I dwelled on that, and the answer I came up with was: "Since when is holding paws with a warm dog" something a pretty young thing would do? In Seattle for sure, and if the dog dies and goes cold you still clutch his paw for dear life.
Posted Thu, Aug 30, 10:06 a.m. Inappropriate
We all know that 'walking the dog' is code language for dumping the dog waste anywhere else than the dog owner's place of residence. Alley waste cans of others, park trash cans, sidewalk trash cans, dumpsters, and just all over streets, curbs, park land, and everywhere else than the dog owners property...Same behavior and sleaze as the cigarette butt crowd.
Posted Fri, Aug 31, 11:26 p.m. Inappropriate
don't be a poop animalal. some walk for exercise and carry a banned plastic product.
Posted Fri, Aug 31, 11:19 p.m. Inappropriate
Knutte, c'mon. You gave up nearly a month's salary for Ratty?
No way.
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