A former Jesuit explains why he supports same-sex marriage

It was a matter of listening to gay parishioners and learning about their loving lives in the church.

An incarnation of the Church of Light in Ibaraki-shi, Osaka, Japan. (Wikimedia Commons)

An incarnation of the Church of Light in Ibaraki-shi, Osaka, Japan. (Wikimedia Commons)

From my perspective as a human being, as a Christian, and as a former minister for 31 years in the Catholic community, I’m convinced that passing Referendum 74 (allowing same-sex marriage) is singularly important.
 
Let me tell you how I came to this view, one contrary to the position of most of the leadership of my church. Some years ago two women came each week to the evening Mass in our parish. Each week I’d say “Hello,” and they’d “hello” me back. After several months they asked to speak with me. They told me they wanted to be honest. They were a gay couple, both military, who had been together for more than 20 years. Recently one had left the military to stay with her partner at what is now Joint Base Lewis-McChord. They wanted to know if it was all right with me if they kept coming to our church. I remember vividly asking, “What kind of church would we be if I said No?”
 
I do not want to be part of a community that says “No” — no to love, no to commitment, no to fidelity, no to the effort to live out lives in honesty and hope. Some leadership in the Catholic church worries that referendum 74 undermines marriage. I stoutly believe it strengthens it, by encouraging people to help each other to love and live faithfully.
 
I have believed all my adult life in a Jesus who reached out beyond borders, cared especially for those who did not fit the “norm,” the blind, lame, scared, poor, the leper, the “fallen woman.” While I do not believe that my gay friends are more wounded than I, the very fact that we are voting on R-74 says their lives are challenged in ways mine is not.
 
The universal is discovered in the particular. My wife, Dee, and I have two couples in particular that we see socially and for whom this law is critical. One couple includes a man who runs a large local service agency; he has spent his life making mobility more manageable for poor and elderly. His partner is a creative genius helping provide clothes for some of Seattle’s elite. In the second couple, one runs an agency that serves the most fragile and needy young people in our county. Her partner is a teacher and an author. Together they have loved and raised a boy and girl who would otherwise never had a home.
 
Both couples have been together more than 20 years. I want both these couples, and others like them, to have every protection, every privilege, every encouragement possible to support their love and commitment.
 
I urge everyone, perhaps especially those who profess a belief in the gospel of Jesus, to also support them and the thousands like them who will benefit from the right to marry civilly! I am troubled that Catholic bishops are attempting to force their own perspective on our society at large by waging this battle. The energy and financial resources of the Church could be better spent on other authentic gospel priorities rather than attempting to force a narrow Catholic position on all citizens, especially in a state where Catholics make up less than 12 percent of the population and many Catholics (up to 70 percent) disagree with their authoritarian position.

About the Author

L. Patrick Carroll was a Jesuit priest from 1954-98. He served his Church as president of Bellarmine Prep in Tacoma and as co-pastor of St. Joseph's in Seattle, where he is a parishioner.

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Comments:

Posted Tue, Sep 25, 2:47 p.m. Inappropriate

Amen!

PJS

Posted Wed, Sep 26, 9:05 a.m. Inappropriate

The question of sexual orientation, Catholicism, and "celibacy" is bizarre and Gothic beyond anyone's understanding. As Patrick Carroll certainly knows, a large percentage of Jesuits and other Catholic clerics are homosexual. The author (and sometime Jesuit) Garry Wills estimates the percentage to be as high as 50%. Forbidden by the power structure to marry, or to publicly acknowledge the truth about their most basic and personal selves, they choose to live lives that are often tortured and conflicted. Women are excluded from this power elite, marginalized, and told to accept second-class status as nuns or to marry, bear children, and never practice "artificial" birth control.

These men are then given the job of instructing parishioners and students how to live their sexual lives. The party line is straightforward--no sex until marriage, no birth control, no homosexuality. Don't ask and don't tell except in the confessional which serves in extreme cases as a place of clandestine sexual assignations.

This might be ok if it stopped there. Just one more cult with peculiar ideas and problematic dogma. But the attractiveness of the clergy, as we have seen far too often, is not limited to adults with healthy, normal sexual needs, whether gay or straight. It is also a pipeline for tortured, controlling perverts who use the pulpit and their power to victimize and abuse children, often altering and destroying their lives. When this happens the hierarchy closes ranks to protect those who provide support to the organization. In the name of some guy named Jesus Christ.

gabowker

Posted Wed, Sep 26, 9:50 a.m. Inappropriate

Wonderful, Pat!

quiller

Posted Wed, Sep 26, 6:04 p.m. Inappropriate

I'm saddened to read gabowker's broadside on Catholic priests. Granted, the instances of pederasty and cover-ups are numerous and tragic, but there is a lot of good, hard, honest work being done by countless Catholic priests out there who are sullied by the work of a relative few monsters. I'm sad that gabowker sees the words "Catholic" and "same-sex" and, rather than respond to the author of a good column, uses the words as an gratuitous opportunity to blast Catholicism. I'm no Catholic myself, but I do see a lot of good in the Church of Rome and in many, many of its priests. Some of the more heroic among the priests combat the dark tide of backward thinking that advances from Rome, and I believe these heroes should be lauded, not humiliated by trollish comments such as gabowker's. Editors of Crosscut should carefully consider the meaning of an "Editor's Pick" citation. Is this the kind of comment Crosscut's editors truly want to reward?

RevSandy

Posted Wed, Sep 26, 7:44 p.m. Inappropriate

Gosh, Reverend, I think that's the first time I've been called "trollish" in print. Disclosure: I graduated from an Irish Christian Brothers high school (O'Dea) and matriculated (but chose not to graduate) from a Jesuit University (University of San Francisco). At both schools I was exposed to but not personally victimized by numerous predatory clerics, although I knew students at both institutions who were. In one case a prominent Jesuit who had molested high school students at Loyola High in Los Angeles was sent to USF where he was named University Chaplain and continued his predatory activities without any apparent restraint.

The fact that there are some good priests is no defense for the institutional policies of the Catholic Church and its ongoing shameful actions and persistent defense of its egregious criminal element. It sounds like saying Hitler was really ok because some of the Nazis weren't so bad. Even now the American Catholic bishops are blaming clerical excesses and crimes on the nuns, the hippies, even the Girl Scouts. I don't know what denomination you represent, but perhaps the Christian cover-up extends further than I had thought. Why the rush to defend these colleagues? Perhaps you could think about this for your next sermon.

gabowker

Posted Fri, Sep 28, 11:26 p.m. Inappropriate

It's up to Crosscut's editor(s), not readers, as to which comments are labeled "Editor's Pick". The phrase kind of explains it, Rev. Brown.

sarah90

Posted Sat, Sep 29, 11:26 a.m. Inappropriate

This article fits into a system of commentary that is easy to understand and at least superficially convincing: a representative of the old moral order renounces his or her past beliefs. “prostitution is harmless” says a one time evangelist, “bigamy should be tolerated for consenting adults...within a sub category of social tradition” says a woman who left a prominent position in the Anglican Church (I’m making these up). The point seems to be those who once embraced social norms have some special insight into how mistaken and pernicious said norms really are. That may be true. But moral codes that are confirmed or dramatized by unexpected events are less common, e.g., “if I didn’t know better I would definitely say that’s a baby” says woman who observes an aborted fetus (sounds like the Onion doesn’t it?). How about “I think smoking dope really ruined my lungs” or “I am really sorry my parents split up…” expressed by someone whose prodigious dope smoking and commitment aversion gives them genuine downside authority. Probably won’t see that at Crosscut (or anywhere else either).

kieth

Posted Wed, Oct 10, 12:40 p.m. Inappropriate

I do not renoucne any past beliefs.....i'm simply arguing with those within my tradition who hold onto beliefs widely not accpeted by people within that tradition....

lpatrick

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