Posted Wed, Apr 14, 1:28 p.m.

Who could care about something as small as this, when Congress is threatening to tax Hedge Fund Managers' bonuses as normal income? Get with the program, Clifford!

Posted Mon, Jan 25, 9:39 a.m.

I don't quite get the joke. -- Major Major Major Major

Posted Mon, Jul 27, 10:46 a.m.

And why have you deliberately omitted any mention of Cindy McCain in this? I think inquiring readers want to know.

Posted Tue, Jun 23, 8:14 a.m.

The piece does remind us all to not spark the ire of Clifford (written in iambic pantameter).

Posted Thu, May 28, 6:58 a.m.

My issue: how to handle a "0" in the denominator (suckupors). Isn't an infinite SUR pretty good?

Posted Wed, Jan 21, 11:54 a.m.

I haven't heard from my guardian angel since November, when I suggested he follow the lead of Prince Awaleed of Saudi Arabia and load up on Citicorp stock. If you run into him, I have changed his name to "Muhammad."

Posted Mon, Dec 15, 11:46 a.m.

Buy American Bubbles! We can still manufacture better bubbles (worse cars) than any Japanese or German. This one can last! A suggestion: to be really collectible, combine the car with our other great export, corporate scandals. I have a 2000 Cadillac Catera with an 'Enron' logo!

Posted Wed, Nov 12, 9:59 a.m.

The Orange, NJ hospital closed its maternity ward four years ago. It's now used to store prosthetic devices for left-handers who injure themselves. Unfortunately, this means that Sarah Palin's daughter cannot, as she was planning to, deliver her illegitimate baby in Orange, NJ.

Posted Wed, Aug 20, 1:41 p.m.

Defenders of Cindy McCain & Our Christian Way!!!: This man disrespects Cindy McCain, a self-made woman, who achieved success on her own talent & determination, who has always been proud of the USA (not like that Mrs. Obamasama), and who met a married war hero -- and then married him! ...

Posted Mon, Jul 28, 9:41 a.m.

And Core Incompetency: I never realized it, but I've been keeping a "core" golf score, all along! And I thought i was only cheating... In that spirit, let's offer the Federal Reserve a Mulligan on inflation. And GWB doesn't have to count his Out-of-Bounds on the Iraq war -- I ...

Posted Wed, Jul 16, 7:03 a.m.

Disrespectful Lowercase: Failure to capitalize "Necrophelia" is disrespectful to the Necropolis in Athens. That's always been my theory.

Posted Mon, Jun 23, 10:28 a.m.

I'm going to borrow some of this: Thanks for the ideas. I'm now writing up a performance evaluation for G.W. Bush, who reports to me. He's doing a bang-up job, so I'll combine the positive comments for Judas Iscariot & Benedict Arnold. That should fit! -- D. Cheney

Posted Fri, May 23, 10:12 a.m.

We Can All Chip In: I am doing my part by spending far more time in Aspen and Sun Valley, where the elevation and thin atmosphere means I inhale far less oxygen and -- by definition -- exhale far less carbon dioxide. Next winter, I'll be helicopter skiing in very ...

Posted Thu, Mar 13, 12:13 p.m.

Repeal the Bush Time Cuts: The loss of this important hour obviously harms working women and minorities the most. I say let's take two or three hours away from people making more than $250,000 per year, and redistribute the time to the rest of us. They can afford it!

Posted Thu, Feb 28, 9:20 a.m.

You're Not Alone: The Audit Committees of our major banks and brokerages are way ahead of you -- they've been playing the vertical alphabet game for years! (Their favorite category: "Members of the Forbes 400.") And they knew all along not to ask about sub-prime exposure.