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Steve Clifford

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Hillary Clinton, will you please go now!

Flip Side: With apologies to Dr. Seuss and Maureen Dowd.

An alternative reality show

In The Real Husbands of Seattle, power and success come at high costs, but you might have to read between the lines ...

Which presidential candidate has a recipe for disaster?

When the election starts to resemble a bake sale, it's time to look at the recipes.

Whatshisname offers tips on whatchamacallit

You know, remembering stuff. When it comes to total recall, nobody matches our Mr. Elephant.

Get rich quick: Write poorly

Guess what best-selling author wrote this: "Almost everyone — regardless of income, available time, age, and skills — can do something useful for others and, in the process, strengthen the fabric of our shared humanity."

Not rich, not famous, but super smart!

Introducing the new celebrities — Nobel laureates.

Secret to a happy marriage: 'Yes, dear'

Our humorist explains why active listening is overrated.

Don't blame the banks — it's Mort's fault

As the drama continues in the subprime mortgage lending crisis, it's a fair question to ask: Just who is to blame for this mess?

Crosscut exclusive! A conversation with Eliot Spitzer's Kristen!

Flip Side: An "interview" with the former New York guv's call girl reveals a penchant for Steamroller.

If it's 3 a.m. when the Red Phone rings, what time is it really?

There's so much the federal government could be doing to make life easier, namely: Stop taking an hour away from us every spring and start moving blocks of time to more civilized and useful hours of the day.

Time to call the legal dream team

Flip Side: He forgot to study for the final exam. Sure, it's just a bad dream, but shouldn't someone pay for his emotional distress?

Arts organization oversight: letting this guy on the board

Flip Side: Broke or nearly broke, your nonprofit must be audited. So the question during this important board meeting is: Does Keith Richards count as a composer?

The causality of diet and humorlessness in 21st century American culture

Flip Side: Barack Obama's "Coalition of the Hip" is in ascendancy, but persistent bad eating habits ensure that Hillary Clinton's "Coalition of the Humorless" will thrive for years to come.

Bleakonomics

Flip Side: The apparent solution to our economic problems is to create more of whatever caused them.

Super Tuesday: Our predictions

Flip Side: Crosscut is projecting that the Democratic and Republican candidates with the most votes will win tomorrow.

The neocons vow to rock the casbah before the casbah rocks us

Flip Side: The real threat from Iran may be on the radio — if we don't act soon.

The voters can't handle the truth, but cookies are another matter

Flip Side: After considering the market research, our presidential candidate rethinks his image.

Tukwila: where metronaturals find world-class parking

Notes on the branding of ye olde suburb's centennial celebration.

My New Year's resolution

To make my New Year's resolutions actually achievable.

In the interests of Lasting Journalism

Flip Side: We will now cover sex, money, and celebrity gossip.

Barack Obama: cool, even in the Highlands

Barack Obama was in town last night. He did two gigs for the hip at $100 and $250 a head, and one for the rich, in the Highlands, at $2,300 per. I attended the latter. I support Barak because he:

Putting up with a confusing campaign

The race for president in a nutshell: Everybody's mad as hell.

Mr. Outdoorsperson answers your outdoors questions

What hiking trails are free of Elvis impersonators? What is his favorite climbing route to the Pacific Place 11 Cinema? When making crepe over a campfire, does he recommend a traditional or a non-stick crepe pan?

Announcing our Status Enhancer Award nominees

For years now Flip Side has been recognizing excellence in one-upmanship, and it's high time we did so publicly.

He has changed his mind: He is not a flip-flopper

The people have a right to know if their next president is a flip-flopper, and in an interview with Tim Russert, our Flip Side candidate denies flip-flopping, denies denying he flip-flopped, and generally shows himself to be a flop that nobody can deny. At least we think that's what he meant.

A tragically hip replacement

It means doing battle with the heath-care industry during recovery and greeting annoyingly cheerful pedestrians during rehab.

The Official Crosscut Voter's Guide

The most complete rundown of the 2007 election to be found anywhere, anytime, anyhow.

An e-mail from Africa!

It's a good idea to take your time when considering which offers of free money, penis enlargement, penny stocks, and home loans to choose. The latest trend in this consumer sector is to bundle them all in one.

For it is written that the government shall be reformed

Flip Side: Our presidential candidate reads a good book and changes course.

Genius by association

The MacArthur Foundation fellows have something in common besides superior intelligence and creative ability. They are obsessed with me.

Cholesterol high or low, you're gonna die

It's a proven fact: A healthy diet is so depressing, people kill themselves.

Continued suppression of aggregate demand appears sufficient

Flip Side: An impenetrable conversation with Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke.

The ZIP code obsesity disparity: a solution

Skinny people are excluded from certain neighborhoods in Seattle, and our Flip Side writer has, of course, a modest proposal to address this injustice.

Fools and Knaves: Let's party!

Our jester rethinks political labels.

All this time I thought I was just tapping my foot

Oh the rejection, the miscommunication. It's been a rude awakening, reading this police report on Larry Craig.

What the kids are saying

A guide to instant-messaging lingo.

The Seattle Diet: answers to all your questions

Sure, the first time you hear about our incredible diet involving trace elements — manganese, boron, yes, even vanadium — you might ask yourself, "Are these guys quacks or what?" Our answer: Yes.

The Al Qaeda Plot To Disrupt U.S. Financing

What's a poor terrorist cell to do when America starts hitting them in the wallet? Why, hit them back where it hurts -- by poormouthing their credit rating.

72 hours in the Issaquah Highlands

Or is it a lifetime? An insider's guide to Seattle's legendary suburb where everything was planned.

A unionization plan for terrorists

A surefire way to keep Washington safe. State law prohibits workers from blowing themselves up.

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Steve Clifford writes humor for Crosscut. In his unhumorous life, he was CEO of King Broadcasting and once played a role in saving New York City from bankruptcy.
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Mossback »

Your chance to join the Mod Squad

A number of events are coming up for people interested in preserving Northwest modernism, from Googie to Brutalism to starship chic. Here's a quick rundown and reminder of doings connected to stories I've been covering on Crosscut.

Puget Sound on Prozac

57 states — and the Soviet of Washington?

Arts Beat »

What's killing small theaters? Paying the rent

As urban real estate soars in value, small theaters are finding one third of their budgets going to pay escalating rents and they must spend lots of time looking for affordable venues.

A dissent on Rauschenberg, darling of the avant garde

Jen Graves on Robert Rauschenberg's influence

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Lifestyle / Leisure » Walking the dog at Green Lake.

The long leash of the law

Domestic violence, custody, malpractice, wrongful death: Today's animal legal issues and challenges are not unlike those of humans.

The Space Needle's first cleaning since 1962?!

18 babies in 24 years: A B.C. couple says they leave this sort of thing 'in God's hands'

Flip Side » Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton, will you please go now!

Flip Side: With apologies to Dr. Seuss and Maureen Dowd.

An alternative reality show

John Moe: Sorry, Seattle, I'm moving away

Food »

UW and IBM are researching new rice strains using 'clustered' PCs around the world

IBM's World Community Grid is essentially a distributed supercomputer that taps the collective processing power of volunteered personal computers. Says a Univ ersity of Washinvgton researcher: "We should be able to get new strains to farmers within five years."

Ah, about that Copper River salmon: not such a good 'carbon footprint'

Included in the Farm Bill: $170 million in aid for salmon fisheries

Recreation / Outdoors »

Bush plan may allow power plants near national parks

Latest move is part of a series of efforts to weaken air pollution regulations near national parks and wilderness areas.

The Space Needle's first cleaning since 1962?!

With polar bears endangered, tourists flock to northern Canada

Sports »

After the Winter Olympics, B.C. Place will get a retractable roof

The 25-year-old facility has has a fabric roof, vulnerable to collapse. With a retractable roof, the stadium could have natural grass and be home to the Whitecaps soccer team.

From the NBA championship to homelessness in 30 years

The M's need a smarter management team

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Crosscut Seattle is an online newspaper for the Pacific Northwest, including Washington, Oregon, Idaho, and British Columbia. It's a guide to local and regional news, a place to report and discuss news, and a platform for new tools to convey news.

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