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The Crosscut Blog »

May 6, 2008 10:00 AM | last updated May 6, 2008 11:10 AM
Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels.

Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels. (City of Seattle)

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As long as we're beating up on the mayor today ...

By Chuck Taylor

Seattle Mayor for Life Greg Nickels is issuing press releases fast and furiously. There are, after all, only 546 days until the election — the 2009 election. And although he has no real opponent as yet, His Excellency has only $129,639.98 in the bank for the 2009 campaign and only took in $29,430.90 in March — and hired fundraiser Colby Underwood got $3,500 of that.

So it's no wonder Nickels' staff is cranking out press releases that attach his name to everything that happens in this town. In March, while he was raising that $29,430.90, the official office of the mayor issued 24 press releases, and all but three began like this: "Mayor Greg Nickels ..." Etc., etc.

  • "Mayor Greg Nickels announced today the city of Seattle will participate in Earth Hour ..."
  • "Mayor Greg Nickels announced today that Seattle set a new city record for recycling rates ..."
  • And our all-time favorite: "Mayor Greg Nickels today declared open season on potholes ..."

Here's a dubious one from April: "Mayor Greg Nickels announced today that the Seattle Channel garnered a record 17 Emmy nominations ..." Way to go, Mayor Nickels!

The barrage will continue until we all get the picture. The latest, issued yesterday (hence our timing here, piling on after Mossback's analysis of Nickels' isolationism):

SEATTLE – Mayor Greg Nickels today announced the lineup of entertainers who have received permits to perform in downtown parks this month.

The Center City Busker Program is part of Nickels' Center City strategy for making downtown parks livelier and more welcoming with musicians, dancers, and other street performers.

"Bringing music to our parks is just one way we're making Seattle's open spaces even better," said Nickels. "It's all part of making our parks safer, cleaner and more engaging to the thousands of people who live and visit downtown."

And so on.

As long as he's sort of taking credit for things like issuing permits and Emmy nominations, maybe there are some other things he should sort of take credit for:

  • "Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels today announced that buses from the University District to downtown will again be crowded with the homeless and annoying mentally ill people ..."
  • "Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels today announced that the gaping, publicly owned hole in the ground in front of City Hall will continue to be a gaping, publicly owned hole until a private developer can be found to build something hideous ..."
  • "Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels conceded today that despite his efforts, climate change continues unabated ..."
  • "Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels today announced Seattle is now self-sustaining and doesn't need the rest of the state ..."

Oops, OK, that last one is kind of true.

  • Chuck Taylor is editor of Crosscut.

Comments
You missed one
Report a violationPosted by: Sean on May 6, 2008 11:15 AM
"Mayor Nickels declared that Sunday, May 4th will be a day of warmth and sunshine in Seattle...
A new transportation line
Report a violationPosted by: George on May 6, 2008 12:16 PM
Mayor Nickels today announced plans to start a pedi-cab line from West Seattle to Ballard with a transfer point in Westlake replacing CO2 emitting cars on the viaduct and providing working class jobs in Seattle...
RE: A new transportation line
Report a violationPosted by: Chuck Taylor on May 6, 2008 1:00 PM
Crosscut WriterI like that one.

Can someone suggest one that covers crime-fighting?
RE: A new transportation line
Report a violationPosted by: ratcityreprobate on May 6, 2008 1:50 PM
Mayor Nickels announced today that he will reprise the role of Fatty Arbuckle in the upcoming remake of "The Gangsters" (1913). Others with roles in this madcap Keystone Cop's raid on Belltown sin spots include Gil Kerlikowske and Tom Carr.
RE: A new transportation line
Report a violationPosted by: dltooley on May 8, 2008 6:13 AM
Mayor Greg Nickels today showed of his new solar powered 'Batman Spotlight'. Nickels noted "now when I need to call Batman I can do so with zero carbon emissions". Deputy Mayor Tim Ceis continued explaining the technical aspects of the unique device: "this system provides a unique way of saving solar power till night time when the batlight is needed. By utilizing a system of water tanks we can pump water to the top of the Municipal building and then, when needed, we can generate hydroelectric energy to power the batlight."
Embarrassment
Report a violationPosted by: animalal on May 7, 2008 11:38 AM
"Mayor Nickels admitted today that all the fluffy press releases and bogus environmental pronouncements are solely generated to deflect attention away from the fact that he is totally unable to solve any of the serious crime, public safety, transportation, neighborhood, and other quality of life issues facing Seattle."
First it was Casey, then Marty, now Alex............
Report a violationPosted by: Tahoma on May 7, 2008 8:11 PM
Who's running this show, the mayor, or deputy mayor Tim C? Since June of 2005 the mayors office has chewed up two, and now into it's third communication director. All were excellant, but each only lasted 2+ years on the job. Must be hard being the mayors communications director. Or, is there another reason for departing a position after 24-36 months? I calibrate our elected officials by the length of service of their people. Not "the mayors office is pleased to announce"................
Do you really expect to be taken seriously?
Report a violationPosted by: Design Gal on May 7, 2008 10:40 PM
Gee Chuck, do you really expect others to read your little experiment in "journalism" (cough, cough) if you so obviously don't bother to read it yourself?

Sad and pathetic...

I think you owe Casey an apology
Chuck's OK..........
Report a violationPosted by: Tahoma on May 8, 2008 9:30 AM
All things considered I think Chuck is doing a good job at Crosscut..... I think he learned from Frank B. not to snub his staff, advertisers, subscribers and friends..... time will tell.....
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