Humor: Join me in stamping out animal deaths

A charitable cause for our times, with many ways for you to help in this neglected but urgent issue.
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Why do we stand by and let animals die?

A charitable cause for our times, with many ways for you to help in this neglected but urgent issue.

In 2010, over 125,000 animals will pass away in Seattle. Nationwide nearly 10 million warm-blooded animals will lose their lives. The majority of these fatalities are caused by death. Death preys on all animals, large and small, cold-blooded and warm-blooded, cuddly and repugnant. That is why I started PANDA (People Against Nauseating Death of Animals).

Do you want your cats, Ferdinand and Isabel, to die? If your answer is NO, then donate today to PANDA.

Hi! My name is Clip Clifford. When I learned that death was the biggest killer of animals, I searched for an organization working to prevent such tragedies. But no one seemed to care. No one in government or the non-profit world was engaged in funding research or programs to end animal death. That is why I founded PANDA.

To harness the power of the free market, I established PANDA as a for-profit entity. I don'ꀙt care about profit. I care about ending animal death. Because PANDA is a for-profit entity, your contributions are multiplied by the magic of the free market. Every dollar you contribute will produce four dollars for PANDA. Remember, PANDA receives no support from governments, foundations, or people smarter than artichokes. We rely completely on people like you.

Established last week, PANDA is the nation's largest and most effective organization devoted exclusively to ending animal death.


We work to eliminate animal death by advocating for sensible public policies, initiating research, educating the public about animal death, joining with corporations on behalf of animal-life policies, and conducting hands-on programs that prevent animals from dying.

We are the nation's most important advocate for local PANDA societies, providing standards and evaluations, training programs, a national advertising campaign to promote animal death awareness, direct support, and national conferences. Our track record of effectiveness has led to meaningful victories against animal death in Congress, state legislatures, courtrooms, and corporate boardrooms.


Do you want a world with no animal predation and no endangered species, or do you want your cats, Abelard and Heloise or Castor and Pollux, to suffer painful deaths?


  • $25 Member of El Cheapo Circle
  • $35 Low Rent Family Membership
  • $50 Cheesy but not sleazy
  • $100 Breakeven Circle. Your contribution pays the cost of fundraising
  • $500 Captain in the War Against Animal Death
  • $1,000 Four Star General in the War Against Animal Death
  • $10,000 Honorary PANDA (and one year'ꀙs supply of yummy bamboo shoots)
  • $100,000 You own PANDA; I'ꀙll find something else to do


  • Write us in your will and die
  • Set up an automatic donation plan where we claim your bank balance at the end of each month
  • Make a Holiday Gift Donation for Arbor Day or National ADD Awareness Week
  • Make an all-occasion gift donation (good for all occasions)
  • Make a gift in the memory of a person or a disease
  • Donate your car, stock, or timeshare
  • Donate your spouse

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