Humor: The secret of happiness revealed!

Have negative expectations and they'll come true. Have positive ones and they won't come true, but it's the other guy's fault. Presto! Bliss!
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The SECRET: It's all in the attitude.

Have negative expectations and they'll come true. Have positive ones and they won't come true, but it's the other guy's fault. Presto! Bliss!

Learn the SECRET. Change your life. Empower yourself. Fulfill your dreams.

The SECRET reveals the most powerful law in the universe. The knowledge of this law has run like a golden thread through the lives and the teachings of all the prophets, seers, sages, and saviors in the world's history. Armed with the SECRET you can transform any weakness or suffering into strength, power, perfect peace, health, and abundance. All at no charge or hidden gimmicks.

Once you mastter the SECRET, You will succeed at everything you try. You will understand the hidden, untapped power that's within you.

I was once like you. Broke, unloved, out of work, and depressed. I was beset by doubts and filled with self-loathing. I thought I was a failure in every way. I was so miserable I contemplated suicide. My problem was negative expectations. I expected people to dislike me, so they did. I expected my investments to turn sour, so they did. I expected airlines to assign me middle seats between a sumo wrestler and a screaming, vomiting infant, so they did.

One day, I realized negative expectations were the root of my problems. They were self-fulfilling prophecies. I decided that positive expectations could just as easily become self-fulfilling prophecies. That simple insight changed my life. I now understand that we create our own reality by the choices we make. And these choices are driven by our expectations. Thus, expectations are the most powerful tools we have.

Determined to change my outlook, I assumed complete responsibility for my own thoughts. If a negative expectation came into my mind, I conditioned myself to turn it to a positive expectation. I developed a rigorous discipline to remove all negative thinking from of my life and create a positive, empowering mindset.

Every morning, I create the day before me. I visualize the positive experiences I expect. I speak and focus on the positive to drive these empowering thoughts deep into my subconscious. Every evening, I review my day, searching for any hint of negativity and visualizing myself eliminating this in the future.

My life has changed completely. Instead of negative expectations coming true, I now experience positive expectations that do not come true. In place of failure, I now feel only disappointment. Instead of blaming myself for everything, I now blame others.

I now expect people to like me. When they don'ꀙt I ask, 'ꀜWhat'ꀙs the matter with them?'ꀝ I now expect my investments to prosper. When they don'ꀙt, I blame my broker.

This is the SECRET. Expect to succeed and blame somebody else when you fail.

The SECRET has saved my life. While still broke and out of work, I no longer contemplate suicide. Even better, I no longer contemplate getting a job, since I know my plight is all Obama's fault. Have a great day!


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