Flip Side: Imperfect Christian candidates

Would you vote for a candidate for president who only invokes two parts of the true triune deity? No wonder this nation is in trouble!

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For God's sake, Heaven doesn't even have a website.

Would you vote for a candidate for president who only invokes two parts of the true triune deity? No wonder this nation is in trouble!

As Christianity takes center stage in the presidential campaign, I worry that none of the candidates is a true Christian. Not one displays sufficient esteem for The Holy Spirit.

As a true Christian I believe that God exists as three divine persons: the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit. These three persons are distinct yet of one being. They coexist in unity, and are co-equal, co-eternal, and consubstantial. This has been dogma since the second Council of Nicaea and reaffirmed in 1213 by the Fourth Lateran Council.

Yet no candidate seems to respect The Holy Spirit. All of them, Obama included, know precisely what God wants, lavishly praise Jesus, but never mention the Holy Spirit. Has some clever marketer rebranded Trinitarianism as Binitarianism based on focus group research?

Most candidates are intimate with God the Father. Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Rick Perry, and Rick Santorum state that He personally told them to run for president. (As we know, God works in mysterious ways.) Obama knows that "God wants to see us help ourselves by putting people back to work." Mitt Romney knows that, "God did not create this country to be a nation of followers. America is not destined to be one of several equally balanced global powers." Gingrich sees God in control of all events. "It's always God's will. That's a point that my wife reminds me of regularly."

Uniquely, Ron Paul does not talk directly to God. Rather he goes through Jesus. "Jesus Christ is my personal Savior, and I seek His guidance in all that I do," he revealed. "I get to my God through Christ."

Jesus plays a leading role in all campaigns. Bachmann, Santorum, Cain and Perry all vied for the mantle of "the Jesus Candidate." "We always need a Jesus candidate," Santorum insisted. In their devotion to Jesus, Romney, Gingrich, Paul, and Obama are not far behind. Obama quoted Jesus to justify economic and tax policies. Rick Perry led 30,000 in a prayer to Jesus to cure the ailing economy.

Yet to my knowledge no one has asked the Holy Spirit for economic assistance. Santorum and others ask, "What would Jesus do?" to guide them, but no candidate asks, "What would the Holy Spirit do?"

Personally, I have stopped asking "What Would Jesus do?" The probable answer is that he would tell me, "Sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor." This is one His few advisories cited by three new testament authors (Matthew 19:21, Luke 18:22, and Mark 10:21). I am a true Christian, but I'm not crazy. Giving money to the poor would only sap their motivation to improve themselves, while leaving me incapable of supporting the lifestyle that has made me a true Christian.

Therefore, I have begun asking "What Would The Holy Spirit Do?" My answers have proved rewarding, especially when placing bets at the racetrack.

I'm confused. Either the Holy Spirit has been kicked upstairs or this bunch of candidates are not true Christians. Tens of thousands died during the fifth century wars fought to establish the true nature of the Trinity. Are we to betray these martyrs today by blithely allowing candidates to traduce this sacred doctrine? Shall we allow candidates to willfully ignore one-third of the God's Triune nature? No. No. Let's rid ourselves of these poseurs and support true Christian candidates!

My nominee is Karen Santorum, Rick's wife. She told the Christian Broadcasting Network that she prays for "the Holy Spirit to speak through" her husband when he is out on the campaign trail.

Not only is Karen Santorum the only person close to the campaign who shows due regard for The Holy Spirit; she is also smart enough to realize that, absent divine intervention, her husband will make a fool of himself whenever he opens his mouth.


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