Man, did you catch her pheromones?

Flip Side's first personal ads, surging with eosinophil and phagocytes. If you have to ask, don't bother replying.
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(New Line Cinema)

Flip Side's first personal ads, surging with eosinophil and phagocytes. If you have to ask, don't bother replying.

Recent research confirms that pheromones are the basis of romance. By their scent, humans can decipher the immune system of potential partners. Both men and women prefer the scent of the opposite sex whose immune systems best complement their own.


SEXY, CLASSY SWF (28) SEEKS MALE with Creutzfeldt-Jakob antibodies. I'm energetic, positive, outgoing, and blessed with active cytotoxic T cells. My subset of T lymphocytes can kill most body cells infected by viruses. If you're sweet and kind, enjoy reading Proust in French, and have high levels of the monoclonal antibody OKT3, then you'ꀙre the type for me.

YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMAN (36) ENJOYS LONG WALKS ON THE BEACH, quiet evenings by a fire, and killing bacteria; I am financially independent with super-active phagocytes. My large white blood cells contribute to my immune defenses by ingesting microbes or other cells and foreign particles.

If you are sensitive, caring, and have healthy dendritic cells (the white blood cells found in the spleen and other lymphoid organs, that use threadlike tentacles to enmesh antigen, which they present to T cells) then we should meet each other and I can begin blathering endlessly about my feelings. No hypogammaglobulinemians please! I detest abnormally low levels of immunoglobulins.

DURING THE DAY I LOVE BEING OUTSIDE outside having fun. Whether it is off-roading, camping, hiking, boating, wake boarding...etc. I love it all. But when the sun goes down, I just want to party. I can engage in all these activities without fear because of my healthy immune system, especially my cytokines (including lymphokines produced by lymphocytes and monokines produced by monocytes and macrophages) and granulocytes (white blood cells, for example neutrophils, eosinophils, and basophils that contain potent chemicals that allow the cells to digest microorganisms, or to produce inflammatory reactions).

I am looking for a guy that knows how to have fun, but how to be sweet and romantic at the same time. Little things make all the difference, like Kupffer cells, the specialized macrophages in the liver, and Langerhans cells, the dendritic cells in the skin that pick up antigen and transport it to lymph nodes.

RUBENESQUE SINGLE MOM (36) BACK TO DATING AGAIN and looking for something new in my life. I like romantic getaways, wine tasting, movies, picnics, poetry, and Japanese films. I am looking for someone real'ꀦsomeone who is okay with going out and having fun'ꀦbut then coming home and finishing the dishes. Must like kids'ꀦ also be at least 6 feet tall. A job is a big plus. Someone nice and sweet, not a jerk like my first husband. And with healthy lymphatic vessels, lymph nodes, lymphocytes, and LAK cells. ....I hope you're out there!!!!!


ONE SCENT OF MY PHEROMONES AND YOUR BLOOD WILL BOIL. I am a tall handsome stud (36) with a great sense of humoral immunity. Soluble antibodies that circulate in my bodily fluids or "humors," (primarily serum and lymph) are my strong suit. I'ꀙm searching for that special girl who wants both to give and to receive. Get the message? Give and receive.

WHEN YOU'ꀙRE HOT, YOU'ꀙRE HOT. AND AM I HOT. I have a great set of B-lymphocytes, derived from my bone marrow that will develop into plasma cells, the source of antibodies. And talk about Eosinophil!!! My Eosinophil release chemicals that destroy all parasites. Can you can handle something this HOT? If you'ꀙre as HOT, why not take SHOT.

SUMMER IS HERE AND I'M LOOKING FOR A SEXY LADY to show me a good time. I'ꀙm 23, 6'1'ꀝ, 180 lbs, good looking, sophisticated, and have world-class monokines that regulate my superb immune responses. If you are concerned about autoimmune diseases including rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, Sjogren's syndrome, and fibromyalgia, I'ꀙm your guy. Let'ꀙs get together for some co-stimulation — I mean the delivery of a second signal from an antigen-presenting cell to a T cell, which rescues the activated T cell from anergy, allowing it to produce the lymphokines necessary for the growth of additional T cells.

SUGAR DADDY TROLLING FOR SUGAR BABY to be part time companion with benefits for both. I am arrogant, insensitive, and rich. Only young women with superior biological response modifiers — interferons, interleukins, AND thymus hormones — need apply.


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