Humor: America after the Gallic coup

Since Obama is turning the U.S. into France, it's time to get ready. Today, a language lesson. Later, we may get to cheeses and elegant fashion.
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Bill O'Reilly

Since Obama is turning the U.S. into France, it's time to get ready. Today, a language lesson. Later, we may get to cheeses and elegant fashion.

"What is driving the Tea Party is fear that President Obama is changing traditional America, that the USA is becoming France, if you want to oversimplify it."
— Bill O'Reilly, Fox News, April 19, 2010

This vast Francophile conspiracy appears unstoppable. Flip Side will prepare you for life after the Gallic coup. Tomorrow we introduce you to 300 French cheeses. Wednesday, we advise how to be svelte, dress elegantly, and call a general strike. Thursday you will learn how to construct a theory, all the way from premise to conclusion, employing impeccable logic. Friday we present The Art of Surrender, Part I.

Today is language day. Flip Side provides translations for America'ꀙs core beliefs to be used after Fascist-Socialist-Obamaite-Frog-Lovers make French our official language:

Born Free, Taxed to Death
Il y a du tabac entre mes dents

Don'ꀙt Bail Out The Boat: FIX THE LEAK
Vive La France et vive le sexe, les drogues et le Rock N 'Roll

Don'ꀙt spread the wealth; spread my work ethic
Je fait le travail de trois hommes: Curly, Larry, et Moe

Down With Tyranny! Up With Liberty!
Le pyjama du chat c'ꀙest Sarah Palin

Foreclose the White House
M'ꀙappeller un idiot, c'est insulter à tous les gens stupides.

Free Markets, Not Free Loaders!
Pas ce soir Joséphine; il faut que nous allions a la fete du thé

Government Doesn'ꀙt Create Jobs 'ꀦ They Cremate Jobs
Je m'en fours pas mal. Mon oncle s'en fout aussi.

Green House Gases: Our money being burned in Washington
Voulez vous coucher avec moi?

Help Me, Mr. Obama, They Want Me To Work and Stuff!
Je ne pense pas; donc je suis un ftard du thé

Honest Change for America: The Constitution
J'ꀙai commencé au fond ... et c'ꀙetais la descente depuis!

HONK 'ꀦ If you don'ꀙt like the word TRILLION$
Klaxoner'ꀦsi vous voulez une ménage à trois

I Want My Country Back!
Tout va bien!

I Will Keep my Freedom, my Guns, my Money. You Keep THE CHANGE!
Paris vaut bien une messe, mais pas le contrôle des armes à feu.

If Dependence Is Your Idea Of HOPE, You Can Keep The CHANGE.
Suivez le courant; voguez avec la marée

If You'ꀙre Not OUTRAGED, You Aren'ꀙt Paying ATTENTION!
J'ꀙai un permis pour tre un idiot

Join Our Cause: Restore the Republic
Qu'ils mangent du gâteau

Liberty: A Stimulus We CAN Afford
Mon chien a mangé mes devoirs

Obamanomics: Chains You Can Believe In
Encore de paté. Encore de Chateau d'ꀙYquem.

Oh 'ꀦ Now I See 'ꀦ Change Means Socialism
Plus ca change, plus c'ꀙest la meme choose

Patriots Are On The March
Vive le rhum, la Romanisme, et la rébellion

Politicians Lied and the Economy Died!
Un oiseau dans la main, en vaut deux dans le bois

Restore the Republic, Revolt Against Socialism
Je ne comprends rein. Je suis du Parti du Thé

Read My Lipstick; No New Taxes
Comme si, comme ca

Socialism: Because Everyone Else Deserves Some Of WHAT YOU WORKED HARD FOR
Tunez dans, tournez sur, droppez dehors

Socialism: Your Tax Dollars at Work, for Those Who Won'ꀙt
Mais où sont les neiges d'antan?

Stop Bankrupting America
A bas Eisenhower. Vive la Corée, le communisme, et la corruption

Three Simple Words: WE THE PEOPLE
L'ꀙetat c'ꀙest moi

Wake Up America, Before Your Liberty is Gone
J'espère sincèrement que je recontrerai quelqu'un qui est intéressant, honnte, intelligent et cultivé.

We have had enough; Stop rewarding failure
Chacun à son gout

We'ꀙre mad as hell and we'ꀙre not going to take it anymore
L'ꀙamour, l'ꀙamour, tourjours l'ꀙamour

We Work Hard So You Won'ꀙt Have To
Je suis allé à la maison hantée et on m'a fait une offre d'emploi

What'ꀙs in Your Wallet. Wait a Sec 'ꀦ That'ꀙs MY Wallet !!!
Ça ne me dit pas grand-chose

You Can'ꀙt Spend Your Way Out of Debt
Mes seins ont presque un aspect naturel

You ONLY have the Rights You are Willing to Fight For
Vive l'acide, l'amnistie, et l'avortement

Your Pork Broke My Piggy Bank
Je vais devoir vérifier les journaux de demain pour savoir quel village a perdu leur idiot ...... parce que je suis perdu.

  

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